dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
