its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I didn't notice because vodka
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
