True but thats because hes a fetus.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize