apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
