Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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