Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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