What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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