escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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