you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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