Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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