I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize