ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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