literally had 100 drinks last night.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
