I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
