I didn't shave. On purpose
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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