this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
