If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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