census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
