is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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