i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
