New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
operation harelip BJ is a go
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
