Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
a search helicopter?!
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
