I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
