over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
