No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
