the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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