8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
