im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
