so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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