I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
This show inspires me to have sex in space
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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