so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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