I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
