At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
