Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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