I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
