i used baking grease as lip gloss
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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