filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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