Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize