So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
