ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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