dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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