I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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