im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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