But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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