ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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