So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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