See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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