yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
