The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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