So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
