Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
