Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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