Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think a kid would responsible me up
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
