i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize