He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
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My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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