i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
