He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
and she was petting her beer can
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
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Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
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he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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