there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
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A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Holy sore nipples Batman
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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