So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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