but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
