So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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