And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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