i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
