He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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