I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
