he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just took my morning after pill in the library
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
